i don't really like people.. lol

i really do not understand why people cannot leave things alone? why people have to lie and be all involving them selves in my life? i stopped myself from killing myself this year, maybe i should’ve just gone through with it. seems like everyone else would be so much happier without me.

also i’ve never said i have had KIDNEY FAILURE. i said i have a very serious kidney infection which could cause one of my kidneys to fail. i had a long strain of antibiotics and a lot of drips and injections. CHARLOTTE FAWKES-GREY knows this because i was speaking to her about it infront of my mother and showing her pictures of me in my state and my antibiotics bag. im prone to kidney infections, i become practically paralysed because my muscles strain and pull when i move, i can barley speak or show emotion and sometimes just pass out. 

so enough of the bullshit, that’s what happened- so grow up. im fed up of people getting involved. ive actually met someone i’ve wanted for a very long time, and i dont wanna give him up, but the bullshit thats being said really needs to stop because we’re not gonna be around for long if it carries on. especially me:). 

CHARLOTTE MORRIS. i’ll upload print screens and conversations of charlottes bullshit if you want? things people have said? lies i caught her out on, she cant show you anything because i never actually lied to her lmfao.

You either choose me, or you fucking lose me.

I saw a status earlier about people being judgemental towards this one girl and basically bullying her. Which i do think is flat out sick. People honestly need to calm the fuck down these days! What is it with the world and hating each other? I mean i dislike a lot of people, and i know everyones different not everyones going to get along but why all the over dramaticness?
Ive been judged BIG TIME. For choices ive made that effect my life and no one elses, just mine. Choices i made because i thought they were right and most of them personally i think were so i just wanted to write one massive long ass blog post about my life what people should believe. The complete truth, what people think ive said or done im clearing it all up now. May even mention a few names!!
When my best friend christopher john died i went off the rails shagging everyone and after my first time yes i went into school and i stank of fish, shamed. Then i met this boy david, my first proper real relationship and it was all sex constantly sex i didnt really know about sex ed and that and i fell pregnant i had had an abortion. I dont want to go into detail about that because i cry myself to sleep about it so much! Yeh i do wish i kept it but it was also a good thing because now, this year im seeing why i did:). Then end of the summer holidays in 2009 i was raped and i was going to press charges but then i moved schools and i made new friends and i didnt want them to know about my past i wanted them to know the real me, who pip really was! But because i was young i didnt realise how much of a small world it was, sooner or later lies that i told caught up with me because people found out about the past i didnt want them to know and i quickly bounced back into miss phillipa jade again, not caring sleeping around ect. I use sex to block out feelings. I fell pregnant with this boys baby and i lost it, he saw a scan and he knew it was true but i just said i got rid of it because i didnt want fuss or anything. I broke my heart out, thats the second one. Then that summer i met a boy called thom james whos a flat out cunt he told all his friends that he was gonna be the next swansea boy to shag me and they were all gonna guve him a tenner for it, obviously he told them i did when i didnt, oh and he said i was on:) stupid prick rot in hell, then his ex got involved. Im not going intobher she makes me out to be a whole lot of something that im not, ive given what ive got:) then last year i got with this boy who i fell in love with, but he cheated and used me for my money. Then that girl got invved after the break up, she made me ring my ex to tell him i was going to kill myself, i wanted to die. I lost the one thing i made everything to me, and to watch and hear him moving on and everyone ratting and abusing me when all i did was fall in love, i didnt want to live. Then this year i became best friends with my next door neighbour, she stole from me, helped a boy screw me over, lied to me her parents and a lot of other people. Shes pathetic:) now? Now im doing great i have a best friend i can depend on, i have an amazing boyfriend who ive wanted since last august, he means the world and now hes mine! I got my nephews back, my grandads a bit ill. Everything happens for a reason you shouldnt hold grudges and regret smile be happy. Being angry at one person gets you no where just gets you depressed and puts a downer on your day. So heres a little story about how everything in life is just going to make you stronger for when youre older l, everything happens for a reason, everything thats happenes to me? Yeh ive found little things that theyve lead to! You will to. So yeh im happy now so i wanna say a massive apology to anyone ive hurt, bianca byrd, charlotte fawkes-grey (i still dont like you though), charlotte morris, andrew vincent. List could go on for hours, so yeh you know who you are. I am sorry:) for everything ive said and done im honestly appreciating what ive got and living my life with a smile from now on, you never know when its going to end!